Did Facebook create jealousy in your romantic relationship?

Did Facebook create jealousy in your romantic relationship?

Before Facebook became ubiquitous, my romantic relationship was much “simpler.” When I had conflict with my girlfriend, it was more of a fact-based conflict. But as Facebook and other social websites became popular, it changed the nature of romantic relationship.

In the Does Facebook Bring Out the Green-Eyed Monster of Jealousy? article, the author Doctor Desmarais examines if the use of Facebook creates jealousy in romantic relationships. Based on the study case of three hundred eight undergraduate students, Doctor Desmarais argues that “Facebook loop,” which is created by ambiguous information about partner’s activity on Facebook, generates infinite jealousy loop in romantic relationship. Using Facebook, it is easy to observe other people’s social interactions. However, it may not present the whole picture. It could be part of the conversation and it can be misleading without further information. Using Facebook, one could easily observe one’s significant other’s social interactions. However, not having enough information, it might lead to jealousy. In this article, Doctor Desmarais argues that the montioring one’s partner on Facebook is correlated with Facebook-related jealousy.

Not everyone responds the same way to feeling jealous. In Creeping or just information seeking article, the author Amy Muise analyzed gender differences in response to feeling jealous. In her study, she creates experiment to see how different genders react differently to feeling jealous. The study concludes that women are more likely to spend more time monitoring their partner on Facebook when they feel jealous. Furthermore, she argues that the more time one monitors on Facebook, more jealous one becomes. She argues that the “anxious attachment” is what promotes “spying” one’s partner on Facebook.

Both of these studies showed that using Facebook to monitor one’s partner eventually leads one to “Facebook loop” that keeps creating jealousy. Sharing information about oneself is important part of relationship. However, Facebook often tries to ask like a “fast lane” for knowing more about others in short time and I believe it is not working. One’s activity on Facebook might be interpreted differently with the lack of information. My girlfriend and I decided to deactivate our Facebook accountes last year so we can lean about each other in human level. Since then, I didn’t have to face any “Facebook jealousy” from my girlfriend and I couln’t be happier.

– SUNG WON KIM

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Greater The Facebook Spying, Greater The Heartbreak

Greater The Facebook Spying, Greater The Heartbreak.

Social media such as Facebook became ubiquitous in American society. Especially with the rise of smartphones, we are surrounded by constant news feed and status updates. For many years, people regarded finding romance online was not real and embarrassing. However, now it is becoming more common. The journal Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences indicates that 35% of married couple started their relationship online (usatoday.com). Now social media affects the romantic relationship from the beginning to the end.

Some argue using Facebook to surveillance ex would delay one’s ability to recover from the break up. In the Can Facebook Prolong Post-Beakup Pain article, the author Alan Mozes argues that stalking on ex partner delay emotion recovery and prolong post break-up pain (MedicineNet.com). He points out that stalking on ex on the Facebook correlates with current suffering after breakup. Additionally, Mozes argues that more and more people are using Facebook to surveillance their previous partner. He refers to study done in University of Western Ontario that reported that 88 percent of surveyed individual indicated that they used Facebook to monitor their previous partners. The study indicates people who  kept checking ex partner’s Facebook reported that they were stressed out because they were confronting without enough information (MedicineNet.com). Additionally in Facebook Post-Breakup: Bad For Your Heart? article, the author uses the journal Cyber psychology Behavior and Social Networking which indicates that one third of 900 million Facebook users are using Facebook to surveillance their ex-partners (USNews.com). This study also supports the argument that monitoring ex partner delays emotional recovery after breakup.

Others argue that this doesn’t necessarily prove using Facebook to monitor your ex partner leads to delayed emotional recovery. Jennifer Harman, assistant professor of applied social psychology at Colorado State University, argues that the people who are stalking their ex partner on Facebook are more emotionally distressed in the fist place (USNews.com). Jennifer Hall, professor of communication at University of Kansas, supports this argument and states stalking ex partner on Facebook is neither better nor worse than  any other methods of dealing with post-breakup distress.

In my perspective, I do not believe there is any better or worse ways of recovering from heartbreak. I believe taking time and understanding what went wrong in relationship would help one to recover and grow. I do not think stalking ex partner’s Facebook is necessarily bad. It could help one to comprehend what went wrong in relationship and why it did not work out. With time, it would eventually heal.

 

– SUNG WON KIM